"Sweet Trav" (thespunbearing)
10/08/2014 at 09:30 • Filed to: None
25
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"Sweet Trav" (thespunbearing)
10/08/2014 at 09:30 • Filed to: None | 25
| 29 |
It started off as a fine fall day, the leaves all colors of fire, except for the pine. The garage kept clean and swept, except for the puddle where the Monte's radiator had wept.
She arrived in a smoky haze, I thought "I hope this old girl doesn't start a blaze, it looks like it's done a trip to a far off moon you'd only see on a star gaze" The smell of burning oil and the sight of the rust had my stomach turning, but I knew I couldn't, wouldn't bust.
Next a test drive to determine the repairs that would help this old Jeep thrive. After a quick jaunt we found the flawed point, at each end of the front axle, a busted u-joint.
Into the air the Jeep was hoisted, the rear wheels had chocks, though due to the ride height we feared the need to use a just few paver blocks.
Ten lugs spun off the mud tires to follow, once we attacked the axle nut our feelings soon turned hollow.
The giant torque wrench that always works in a cinch ran into the quite a pinch. Though I did strain, I realized these nuts would be a pain, so into the Fusion to the local parts store we went in the rain.
The man behind the counter said I'd need a pipe, as the nut was being a such a gripe, a breaker bar alone wouldn't git-er done right. So off to Home Depot, down past the carpet squares we found the fair priced pipe to tackle the job at hand.
The breaker bar in place, a few hammer strikes to help break loose the nut so obtuse, then on with the pipe to show this nut all the might a man and a lever can muster. Next a snap and a thud, the breaker bar broke and I cursing this dud.
Next we sought power, while the clouds did shower on our journey to the Harbor of Freight. $49.99 gets you a tool oh so fine, if you don't own an electric impact wrench you're missing out on quite a good time. Back to the garage in a flash, the impact wrench did gnash, let me tell you the victorious tool was well worth the cash.
Soon the evening was upon us and the axles stubs were still held captive by rusty hubs. After a few whacks of the hammer I began to stammer, at this point I mused that the knuckle and hub had fused.
Pry and pry with a chisel did I try to separate the two faces rusted into one. Travis the King of Spun Bearings was clearly KO'd in the ring by the very thing he claimed rule of. The internet was searched, the screen read it was possible to change the u-joints, even if the hub units remained hostile, but the job is much easier if on your work bench the half shafts are perched.
After much thought and examination of the bearing quite wrought, we decided to go for the press, we thought the u-joints would egress, but in the end all we did was make a big fat mess.
Comparing the old to the new, we discovered that the parts jockey at O'Reilly blew. So away in the Fusion Yamahog did fly to get the right parts on the second try. An hour later with Yamahog was still gone with the Fusion and I began to sink into confusion.
Turns out Yamahog gave the Fusion a bit too much BRAAAP and fell into a bogus speed trap because the Farmington Hills PD is a whole bunch of crap. Away with a ticket and right parts, a feeling of dread was growing in our hearts.
We began to tire and emotions ran higher, simply running out of things to try. Our arms grew heavy. Lord I wished I was working on a Chevy! Simply because this hub still would not budge no matter what we did we simply couldn't give the hub the right nudge. Even Hellfire applied by a torch wasn't enough to scorch the bearing into submission.
Suddenly a Crazy Russian appears, he confirmed our worst fears there would be no victory beers as this Jeep wasn't getting fixed tonight. Taking turns, each working a quick shift seemed like gift as the clock hit midnight. After stopping for a quick snack, we were soon back on the attack to get this heap of Jeep at least back to par so Yamahog could travel on Wednesday afar.
I have to confess I felt defeated, because this battle was so heated but we eventually conceded that a real mechanic was needed. The decision was made to punt this runt, so it was time to try a bit of a stunt. We pressed the new cups on the old spiders, risky I know, but bold action was needed so Yamahog wasn't left out in the cold.
We buttoned up our work up, torqueing each nut; we reflected on our gaffe, but the Jeep, in the end she had the last laugh. A failure to start, the battery dead, at this point I wanted to shoot myself in the head! Bust out the charger let it set for an hour, Will it start? Roger! At this time it was 1am, well past bedtime for this old codger.
bob and john
> Sweet Trav
10/08/2014 at 09:32 |
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ok, if you are writing in poem, you must have had it up to there with that jeep...
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Sweet Trav
> bob and john
10/08/2014 at 09:35 |
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You have no idea.
macanamera
> Sweet Trav
10/08/2014 at 09:36 |
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I respect this.
yamahog
> bob and john
10/08/2014 at 09:37 |
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unrelated: jeep for sale, brand new u joints!
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bob and john
> Sweet Trav
10/08/2014 at 09:38 |
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did the three of you manage to get it done in the end? or did you just say fuck it and when and bought another jeep?
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bob and john
> yamahog
10/08/2014 at 09:39 |
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Look at the last comment I made towards travis :P
MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
> Sweet Trav
10/08/2014 at 09:44 |
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Damn that's some good prose.
and a rough story.
Sounds like me trying to get the oil filter off the Montego 2 weekends ago.
I had to go get a new oil filter wrench
one designed for trucks and tractors...
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yamahog
> bob and john
10/08/2014 at 09:46 |
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Took it to a shop, told them to let me know how they get that hub off. I'm anticipating paying for new ones. Just need this rustbucket to make it through one more winter.
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MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
> yamahog
10/08/2014 at 09:47 |
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Sounds like a steal!
I've got $14, I'll take it!
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bob and john
> yamahog
10/08/2014 at 09:49 |
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1 week later:
shop: yamahog, you jeep is ready
*yamahog walks to shop*
yamahog: my jeep was black....why is it red?
shop: it won. heres your new jeep.
The Compromiser
> Sweet Trav
10/08/2014 at 09:56 |
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Excellent Your Majesty. I would have given up way before 1 am. I was beaten a couple of weeks ago by a stubborn hose on a petcock!
TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
> Sweet Trav
10/08/2014 at 10:01 |
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With a 12 tonne press, I eat u-joints for breakfast. Also fantastic prose.
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yamahog
> bob and john
10/08/2014 at 10:03 |
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I think that actually happened on an episode of Pimp My Ride...
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Sweet Trav
> TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
10/08/2014 at 10:09 |
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Which is fantastic, if you can get the hub off the axle. The press wasn't the issue.
JEM
> yamahog
10/08/2014 at 10:30 |
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It did! I remember someone had a real shitbox of a Ford Escort (no, like, an even bigger shitbox than when it left the factory). When the PMR guys started tearing it apart, they found out it was 2 different Escorts welded (badly) together. IIRC they went out and bought the owner a Scion. I remember them being completely horrified by the Escort.
Also: I always let my mechanic do my XJ's U joints. F. that. stuff.
erikgrad
> Sweet Trav
10/08/2014 at 10:32 |
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This is awesome...great work!
I'm emailing a link to myself to read it again later (when I am not at work).
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yamahog
> JEM
10/08/2014 at 10:39 |
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Yes, that's the one! High school me was also horrified.
And yea, time to swallow my pride and let the shop do some of the more tedious stuff. Looks like I found a good one too, they gave me a very fair price.
STREPITUS
> MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
10/08/2014 at 11:02 |
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I bent Yamahog's oil filter wrench a few weeks ago trying to get the filter off the XJ. Ended up stabbing it with a screw driver to get some torque on it.
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MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
> STREPITUS
10/08/2014 at 11:38 |
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Haha, I should've done the same, but after trying to turn it for so long (with and without gloves and adding grippers) I had a blister forming, yeah i worked at it that long, and had my 16 yr old brother in law yanking on it too with no luck so I went and got a bigger filter wrench so I could get it off.
I almost always have to use one on my wife's jeep, that damn 3.7L will be the death of me one day...
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TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
> Sweet Trav
10/08/2014 at 11:58 |
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Ah okay, the one time we had to pull the hub of a Series IIa axle we bolted a plate onto the wheel bolts, put a pry bar between the plate and the hub. Then went to town on it with 4lb hammers on either end, eventually it moved with a bit of "encouragement". After that we invested in a hub puller which makes life real easy.
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JEM
> yamahog
10/08/2014 at 12:05 |
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Well, now *I'M* horrified that you were in high school when that came out. :-)
If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
> Sweet Trav
10/08/2014 at 12:14 |
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I had to bust out a 1" drive impact wrench to remove the bolts holding my subframe on. Ever worked with one of those? They're HUUUUUUUUGE!
Crashsector
> Sweet Trav
10/08/2014 at 12:20 |
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Excellent job. Two things:
1) You can take the hub out without undoing the axle nut to replace the front U-Joints. It's clumsy, but works.
2) There is a great technique for loosening the hubs where you undo the 3 bolts a bit and put a socket in between the max lock bolt and the back of the hub. Start her up, few solid whacks back and forth on the steering wheel, and *bam* the hub comes out. I'm 4 for 4 with this technique.
Jeep on!
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Sweet Trav
> Crashsector
10/08/2014 at 13:04 |
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We tried number 2. Didn't work.
thebigbossyboss
> Sweet Trav
10/08/2014 at 14:35 |
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Wow. This is the best poem ever written.
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Sweet Trav
> thebigbossyboss
10/08/2014 at 15:05 |
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I think i had a psychotic break whilst writing this.
EL_ULY
> Sweet Trav
10/08/2014 at 18:15 |
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Awesome read, thanks for the repost.
orcim
> STREPITUS
10/09/2014 at 04:02 |
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I've done that, too. I always use my Craftsman screwdriver for that particular maneuver.
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orcim
> Sweet Trav
10/09/2014 at 04:06 |
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I had an interesting experience with axle nuts. Mine let go with the application of the 6' [that's feet, foot, 12 inch units] cheater bar. Thought I was doing well. Neighbor was doing the same job, had an experience man come over and he just grabbed one of my mauls and a cold chisel and went to town. 30 seconds later, axle nut off.
As for the rest, I feel the pain. Older cars, especially in corrosive environments, are extra exciting.